Girls seem to suck at picking guys. Feminine girls especially, because feminine is emotional. This is what I’d expect. On top of that, they just won’t have the experience to know what a good, quality guy is. If he drives a nice car, maybe he’s using somebody else’s money or just renting it for a day.

Historically, brothers and fathers were the gatekeepers. Who better to assess the quality of a man than another man!? And there were norms: practice abstinence, stay at home as much as possible, don’t go out alone, commit to a life together. These were norms to help minimize the chance of a girl losing her femininity.

Anyway, as they continue to get fucked over, they start to build their own filters for next time. But instead of observing accomplishments and proof-of-success like:

• Does he have a job? What kind? What does that profession typically earn?
• Where does he live? With who?
• Is he good at anything? What?

They seem to have created what’s known as the “shit test.” They’re well known to be unconscious behaviors..women aren’t even aware that they are shit testing. I want to understand why women shit test, or think about how common shit tests came to be. Do women learn it from each other, or do they come up with the exact same shit tests independently?

My best guess is they come up with shits tests mostly independently, anytime a guy shows emotion at them. For example, she was late to dinner with an legitimate excuse and he flipped instead of being understanding that one time. She didn’t like the way she felt, so the next guy she dates, she wants to see his reaction to her being late as early as possible.

• You can’t really blame women for shit testing. They have to do something.
• These shit tests should be repelling guys. Because they make a guy feel like shit.
• Is she really just screaming “stay the fuck away from me I’m hurt”
• Shit test = emotional filter. Observe emotions and responses rather than accomplishments or skill.
• A good approach or mindset is to turn shit tests into sarcasm or humor. View it as trolling/teasing and dish it right back.
  • Even if she’s demonstrating insecurity, don’t validate. Instead deflect. “You sleep with a lot of girls don’t you?” “Yeah like non stop I barely get any work done”

• Indirectly, maybe these common shit tests can expose useful info
  • Does he spend money carelessly? What is he willing to spend on and how much would he spend with limited info?
  • Does he get distracted easily? By me
  • Does he get frustrated easily? How does he handle it?

When it becomes disrespectful, be clear about boundaries and consequences.